when i was at my lowest, i was consumed by
self hatred and self abuse. satan loved that.
hurting all those around me
testing everything and everyone that is close
to me.. trying hard to make them leave
because i am worthless.
i am no longer hurting myself
in many ways.. all those unexceptable
ways. but i can still binge without
anyone knowing. i'm not
in that deep dark place but
i am still worthless
i am almost intrigued by the link between
abandonment and abuse and my issues. trying
to really understand it can leave me spinning.
i have often tried to find a percentage
of the abandoned/abused person
it has to be H i g H
half my life is over
my marriage has survived
my children have survived
i have survived
yet i still feel worthless
i can see many blessings
i do believe in the Lord
do i have worth to have the
things that i do?