Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'm.Still.Very.Worthless

 
a girl, so young,
is scared to tell.
she'll be so angry
she'll make my life hell
 
ten years she spent
searching alone
looking into faces
is she my little one?
 
is she happy? is she ok?
is she kind? is she loved?
has she been blessed
by the heavens above
 
finally, a reunion
how time has passed
she looks just like me
the birthmother said
 
i'll hold her close
phone calls each week
i'll bake her cookies
it should be a relief!
 
overwhelming my mind
is it shame? is it grief?
why can't i do this?
healed hearts, i seek.

the daughter pulls back
it must be my face?
my laugh or my weight?
if i do better, be better
she'll love me, oh wait!

i'm still very worthless
i'm not good enough
she thinks i'm disgusting
and not worth the time.
she left me again
she'll never be mine.

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